Nerf Fur
by swiftykenobi
Summary: Have you ever wondered about the radical change in ObiWan's facial hair between Episodes I and II? How did the beard come to be? Humerous oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars yada yada, Mr. George Lucas owns it all!

Summary: Have you ever wondered about Obi-Wan's drastic facial hair change between Episodes I and II? Well, this probably won't help, but Anakin and Obi-Wan seem to find the beard topic interesting, so...

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The sun was rising over the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, illuminating the five spires and outlining them against the fiery sky. The air was clear and warm, and the residents of the city planet were feeling content.

Inside the towering ziggurat of the Jedi Temple, the residents were in a fine mood. The normally subdued and contemplative mood of the Temple was punctured often by laughing and good feeling.

Many Jedi had forgone their meditations for the day and were enjoying themselves out by the lake. In the apartments shared by Masters and Padawans, a young Jedi Knight and his apprentice were enjoying the nice day with their windows open and a holovid playing.

The young Padawan was only fifteen-years-old, his Master, thirty-one, and in the six years that they had been student and teacher, they had formed a close bond.

The two were more than master and student. They had become brothers, and most of all, they had become friends. Though they had had a rocky start to their relationship, they had overcome the initial struggles and had become a team.

They were an unbeatable team at that, and other Jedi teams would often look to them as an example. Obi-Wan Kenobi was solid. He was a great Jedi, on of the best. He was always kind and compassionate, and his fighting skills were practically unrivaled. He was the epitome of a Jedi Knight, exemplary in every manner.

His apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, was impulsive and powerful. The boy had come to the Temple at nine years of age, but he had already surpassed some knights. He was an impatient boy, and many Jedi did not approve of his actions, but those closet to him, like Obi-Wan, knew that Anakin was fiercely loyal in every way. He was a kind boy, and he was a perfect complement to his Master.

Now, these two Jedi were enjoying the this great day like everyone else were, joking and laughing, enjoying the break from the rigorous life of a Jedi. The two had spent the day enjoying the crisp air with all of their windows open, and delicious snacks on the table.

The two Jedi would often tease each other good-naturedly. Obi-Wan was running a hand over his clean-shaven chin and through his short hair. He had kept it that way since he had become a Knight, but lately, his had been getting to thinking...

"Anakin," Obi-Wan asked. "I believe that I would be very fetching if I were to grow a beard. What do you think?"

Anakin looked at his Master, speechless. Obi-Wan continued, "You know, my Master always got quite a bit of female attention and I always believed that it was from his facial hair."

Anakin stared at Obi-Wan, his mouth hanging slightly open. His face was beginning to grow a smirk. "Master, I don't think that a beard would help you much...women tend to run away from you as it is."

Obi-Wan faked a look of mock offense. "Now Anakin, you really should have more respect for your Master. The one who has trained you and put up with you for six years. The one that you have tortured and gotten into trouble with the Council and given numerous lightsaber burns and-"

"All right, all right Master. I get the picture. You know I respect you, but I don't think that I could respect you at all if you looked like you had a dead nerf on your face."

"Anakin, I happen to think that nerf fur is highly attractive. Very silky and smooth."

"Come on Master, if you were a woman, would you really want to kiss a furry nerf chin?"

"Well, my _very_ young apprentice, seeing as to how I am a Jedi, and Jedi don't typically kiss many women in their lifetimes, I wouldn't have to worry about that minor problem, now would I?"

Anakin gave Obi-Wan a sly look. "Well Master, I don't know. I heard that that waitress at Dex's thinks that you're quite good looking as it is...you know, the one who _always_ offers to _refill_ your jawa juice?"

Obi-Wan blushed a little bit, remembering. "That was _one_ time, Padawan!"

Anakin wore an extremely smug look on his face. "You know Master, I'm sure that she would love to go out with a well-known and powerful Jedi Knight, after all, she is...quite...robust."

Obi-Wan glared at his Padawan. "I believe that you are just jealous, my young Padawan, that you do not have enough hormones yet to grow a beard. But worry not, I hear that some of the women in Master Yoda's species rather like young, beardless teenagers. That makes you a perfect candidate."

Anakin blinked, trying to get that image out of his head, and replied, "Well Master, I understand. Sometimes the older Jedi here at the Temple think that a beard will hide their age because they are too lazy to mask it with the Force. I never really thought about it, but you are getting on in age aren't you Master? Pretty soon you will be needing Galactic 'Fro-Gro just to grow the beard."

"Oh, young Padawan, I know that you speak out of jealousy, but really, many Jedi Padawans are late-bloomers...you don't have to feel bad about it."

Now it was Anakin's turn to blush. He _was _growing taller and his voice _was _getting deeper, but it was just happening very...slowly. "Worry not Master, the next time I go to Dex's, I'll be sure to get you her comm number. I'm sure that she doesn't mind nerf beards."

"Insolent little Padawan." Obi-Wan muttered, barely able to contain his smile.

"She is quite good looking under all that makeup Master...I'm sure."

"Padawan, that poor woman wears so much makeup, if I kissed her with a beard her makeup would rub off and turn it multicolored."

"All the more reason for you _not _to grow a beard Master."

"Padawan, when you are twenty-three like I am, you may finally understand."

Anakin practically dropped the Bantha Crisp that he was holding. "Twenty-three? Ha! More like sixty!" The young Padawan was practically rolling on the floor.

"Perhaps, my hormonal Padawan, it is _you_ who has a crush on our favorite waitress. After all, she doesn't offer you the children's menu anymore. That must be a clue."

Anakin blushed deeply and Obi-Wan pinched his cheek. "My little Padawan is just growing up so fast!"

Obi-Wan ruffled Anakin's hair and Anakin affectionately wrestled himself away from Obi-Wan's grip, and the two laughed for a long while.

Obi-Wan reflected on how close they had become over the years. Anakin was a good apprentice. Sometimes he could be impetuous and impatient, but Obi-Wan was proud of how far he had come.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and Obi-Wan and Anakin later said goodnight. Obi-Wan immediately fell asleep, but his apprentice was a little bit more restless. Anakin had an idea...

The next morning Obi-Wan awoke feeling well-rested and in a good mood from their day off. After he showered and dressed, he was about to shave when he looked into the mirror. Hanging by a rope was a stuffed nerf, dangling right where Obi-Wan's chin would be reflected in the mirror, and on the counter was a super sized container of Galactic 'Fro-Gro.

"Unbelievable," Obi-Wan muttered, "beaten by my fifteen-year-old Padawan." Trying his best to ignore the nerf he went to shaving, but after a while, he could not take the darn son of a Sith thing staring at him anymore. He untied it and placed it on his Padawan's sleeping face with a note that said, "_Until puberty hits, this should suffice."_

Smiling at his own wit, Obi-Wan went back to his shaving. Later that day, he and Anakin headed out to lunch at Dex's, Anakin still fuming about the nerf-incident and how it had backfired.

When the two arrived at the diner, the waitress pounced. "Well if it ain't my two favorite Jedi in the whole big fat Galaxy." She led them to her seats, and when she leaned to give Anakin and Obi-Wan their menus, both of the Jedi got a bit more of a view than they had ever, er...wanted to see.

"Master," said Anakin. "I'll make you a deal. If you ask her out and go on a date with her, I will never mention your beard again and you can look like a bum for the rest of your life."

"No way in the Seven Sith Hells will I do that. I am the Master here."

"Whatever you say, _Master_."

When the waitress returned to take the order, Anakin could not contain it anymore. He just blurted out, "Obi-Wan thinks that you are the most gorgeous girl ever and he wants to go out with you!" Obi-Wan gave Anakin of such loathing, a Sith would have been proud.

The waitress was flustered. Beaming, she said, "Oh, I would LOVE too!" She leaned down (Obi-Wan quickly averting his eyes), and planted a giant kiss on Obi-Wan's cheek. Anakin was turning red from the effort of trying not to laugh, and he swore that he would burst if he tried to hold it for much longer.

Obi-Wan stuttered, "Well...please...it's just my-my...um...Padawan...I'm sorry but...Jedi are not um...allowed to...date...I am-...well...sorry."

The waitress looked heartbroken for a second and then she turned irate. Throwing an entire cup of Jawa Juice on Obi-Wan's head, she screamed, "YOU FORCE-FORESAKEN JEDI! I HATE YOU ALL! I AM TELLING DEX THAT I NEVER WANT TO SEE EITHER OF YOU AGAIN!" With that, she turned on her heel and ran to the back of the diner.

Anakin looked shocked. "Master. You have to go talk to her! We can't get kicked out of here, we'll never eat again! Please Master..."

As much as Obi-Wan wanted to hurt his Padawan, he knew that he was right. They needed to eat, and neither of them was much of a cook. Shooting daggers at his Padawan and dripping with Jawa Juice, he walked quickly to the back of the diner, the rest of the clientele staring as he went.

When he returned a short time later, Anakin felt sorry for his Master. Obi-Wan looked as though he had just fought a million battles. Grabbing Anakin by the arm, the two left quickly. They walked back to the Temple in silence. Finally, Anakin spoke. "I'm sorry Master, it was just a joke. I did not really think that she would react quite like that...I'm sorry."

Obi-Wan sighed and put his arm around his Padawan and ruffled his hair. "It is ok Anakin. I did not know that she would react like that either."

Anakin was surprised. He wondered why his Master was not angrier. Not able to help himself, he asked, "So, Master, when is the date?"

Obi-Wan opened the door to their quarters without replying. "Actually, Padawan, you're taking her out to dinner tomorrow night. She says that she completely understands that you were just too afraid to ask her yourself and so that's why I did it for you. She says that she is very excited, and that she has the _perfect_ outfit planned."

Anakin's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, he could not even speak. Obi-Wan smiled cherubically at Anakin, and turned, grinning at the stunned and betrayed expresion on his Padawan's face. Obi-Wan walked into the refresher, threw out his razor and shaving cream, and then, opening the bottle of Galactic 'Fro-Gro, he slapped some on his chin, and said goodnight to his still very shocked apprentice.

The End

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A/N So, this was my first ever attempt at a humor fic. Hope it was good! Feedback is always appreciated, And I have to say that I prefer a clean-shaven Obi-Wan, but to each his own I suppose...and when you're the coolest Jedi ever, perhaps facial hair is simply a given.


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